I hear that the ‘touching’ and ‘comments’ get worse as your belly gets bigger. So far I’ve heard nothing but excited comments that my bump is now ‘showing’. I was a body skimming, baggier clothes person previously, so I could hide the less round stage at the start, but now, it’s out in full force.
So, what do you do when people say things like:
Oh my God! You are SO big!
I noticed this on the baby blogs and there are many women who hear this from total strangers. I agree with other commenters; pregnant bodies are amazing. People need to learn some manners, or at least be prepared for a less than sweet response to this blunt ‘observation.’
You’re making a human life!
I haven’t had people tell me I look bigger or smaller than ‘they expect’ but really… none of these people are experts or doctors, so what do they even know? I hear that it gets worse as people start to offer you advice on how to parent, feed, nurse, etc. Maybe they need a dose of their own medicine, like if these moms just zoom in on some aspect of the commenter’s appearance and wait for the ‘wow, you’re big’ comment, so they can offer them some offhand comment in exchange for their
“Wow, are you sure you’re not having twins!?” …
Some mildly passive-aggressive to downright aggressive options, to respond to these unwanted belly-commenters:
“Yes, I’m enormous. And so is your mouth…”
“Thanks…And I hate your t-shirt/shoes/haircut”
“Hmmmm. I was just about to tell you how tired and rundown you were looking, but I’m trying this thing where I don’t offer unsolicited comments on other people’s appearances”.
These are the things I’d say in my head, but if someone really makes a shitty comment I probably won’t hold back from saying,
“That’s an interesting observation; what kind of response do you expect from me when you comment on my size?”
“That’s actually kind of hurtful, given how sensitive pregnant women are about their changing bodies.”
“Are you a physician? Are you accepting new patients? I would love to come by your office for an official consultation!”
So, what does this new bod actually feel like and look like? A few updates:
9 Weeks: I am 5’10, 170 pre-pregnancy, and I’m getting a little tummy. I just wear floaty, loose tops and dresses that skim. Highlighting the parts that are still toned and distracting from the newly puffy areas seems to help. 🙂
I’m saying yes to everything I want. I just keep the portions small so I don’t feel queasy.
I’m always hungry but feel a bit nauseous. I eat often and avoid spice! Carbs and fresh fruit have been sitting well. Also boiled broccoli and green beans are things I’m craving.
20 Weeks: I have gained 13 lb. But my boobs, which were small B cups are now a very plentiful C. Am I gaining it everywhere or just in certain areas? My belly is popping. I learned that you don’t just gain ‘weight’, in pregnancy there are many changes occuring; it’s increased blood volume, muscle around your uterus, water weight, and … boobs (in my case). Surprisingly, my skin has been the ‘good’ kind of pregnant. Mostly blemish free and even. I’m wearing SO much sunscreen. Moisturizing the belly and torso every night to minimize the stretch marks (if they come).
25 Weeks: I have gained 17 lb. My lower back is starting to hurt. The belly isn’t low or high. In the middle and pretty round. My ribs feel like they have to start spreading and by the end of the day my lower abs are exhausted. It feels very tight. My hips are really sore (icepacks and heat packs) in the morning and end of day. Heartburn is CONSTANT. It’s better when I don’t drink water with my food, leaving about an hour before or after meals to drink liquids; otherwise I risk throwing up as the water sits on top of the food and my gag reflex is as much a pain as the acid reflux. Ranitadine tablets are helping, but I only take half of one at midday. Nothing pressing against my stomach, please. I am wearing things below or pulled up and over the bump. Very dry skin on my limbs (the babe is sucking all the nutrients and moisture out of me!).
I have my Gestational Diabetes test this coming week. How are your pregnancies and TTC been going?!