A Cat Post

Trying to explain situational irony to my class, and the first thing that comes to mind is:

When you are having coffee in the morning trying to get ready/relax a little while checking social media… and you push your own attention-hungry cat off your lap while clicking through pictures of adorable kittens online.

  
 Meet Felix (above) and Chesterella (below). IMG_2349
 I have the check myself sometimes because we have two of the most personality-filled felines and while they are a handful, they are truly some of the best little creatures I could ever imagine sharing space with. One is a complete diva and has pure ‘resting bitch face.’ She is a rescue who spent the first months of her life living under a rusty car in an alley. Now she is spoiled rotten and hand-fed (because she likes to be watched and admired while she eats). But she’s the first cat to notice if you sound at all sad and spends her time arm nibbling and doing tricks to try and check in on your mood.

The other is a certified glutton and the neediest cuddle monster I’ve ever seen. He is ALWAYS there, purring, chirping, cuddling, ‘helping’. He is the one who doesn’t run away when my nieces shriek their way into the house. Bless him. But he is a messy little monster.
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That’s all. Just a little praise for my fave furry friends.

She’s My Valentine. And my family … All day. 

Cheers to a woman who is my match. I love her fiercely, admiringly and as a best best friend. We laugh a lot and always enjoy each other’s company. Our journey to have a baby makes Valentine’s Day somewhat less about bodies to share with a partner and more about getting ready and recovering on our baby/ parenting quest. This is when you really find out how your relationship will endure when the body fails and it’s just your hearts and minds.


We may not always be sexy, but we sure do have a good time. This video is one of those ‘thought you were taking a photo and it was on video mode’ moments.

Roller coaster. 

What a fucking Friday. We sat waiting to find out why, after two positive tests, my wife had no sign of any little one growing. Early miscarriage or tubal pregnancy. Sigh. Start again. Or wait for the blood work to come back. Then take another test in 48 hours to see if her body still thinks it’s pregnant. 

Spotting 

there is never a good time for bad news. And it never comes at even a relatively good time. It’s the final day of exams. Tomorrow I am supposed to lead professional development about anti-racism and equity practices. The is morning A was bleeding. 

What’s scary is that all the things that could be nothing could also be something. And the thing they could be is bad. You might just be spotting. Totally normal. Or… Signs of ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage. So once again there is the need to include people you aren’t r close to in rather intimate and vulnerable moments of your life, because you don’t want to seem flaky or unprofessional. But I also know I will never let A go along to an ultrasound ever again. 

We are in tomorrow at 8:30 for the appointment. Smack in the middle of my ‘presentation’. So in addition to dealing with this (which could be nothing) I also need to go in at 7 to edit final comments before the doctor’s, in case I don’t go back in. Then figure out how to prep for the first day of semester two – with three brand new classes – on Monday. You know, the usual. So, fingers crossed that this is all for naught. 

Third time is a charm. I hope. 

Also… scared to loosen my grip

I was reading a great entry by ”  Sprout and Mamas” on their blog, and felt a pang of recognition. I, too, feel like I’m micromanaging much of the process – counting, asking, monitoring, double-checking… but with good reason:

So much of our process needs to be bang on, because it’s no accident that these babies are being conceived. If only I’d thought more about what a weird irony I was living in my late teens and all through my twenties… never worrying about getting pregnant, or even whether my period came, late or otherwise.

As I said to Sproutandmamas:

“It’s so true. Every step is ‘crucial’ and you never know whether the calm demeanor of folks in various provider-patient relationships is because they are calm and CONFIDENT, or because they aren’t the ones trying to get pregnant. Fingers crossed…

I had similar [to the ones posted on their blog] thoughts about the progesterone supplements that we are taking during this round… upon handing us our medication, no one said ‘don’t leave these in the car during Canadian winter’. But part of me had a hunch that I should take them INTO my work, rather than leave them in the car. Later, after reading all the fine print, it indicates that they should be stored at room temp. What if I hadn’t and it was THAT detail that prevents or ensures that this step works? So much to think about, eh??”

And ‘ensures’ is such a ridiculous word, since nothing is guaranteed. Al said she doesn’t want to tell anyone (except everyone here, of course, and the few close family and friends) until we’re five months pregnant.

So far, so good though. We are a few weeks in,… and all seems swell. I won’t even start on why ‘seems’ is such a tricky word.